Notes

I WANT TO SUPPORT A PREMIER LEAGUE TEAM FOR THE DUMBEST REASON POSSIBLE!

Anyone will tell you the key to being good at fantasy premier league is to not be biased. Which is my PUNDIT TIP NUMBER SIX: DON’T BE BIASED!

Just because you support, for instance, Arsenal does not mean you can’t have a player from Tottenham on your team. Regardless of who you support, you need to field the best possible team each week in FPL

This is easy for me because I do not support any Premier League team. I currently have season tickets to my local MLS side here in the states. However, I would like a Premier League team to support…well actually a team to support me first. 

I will support the first Premier League team to follow my blog’s Twitter Account: @Unfantastical. In return, my blog will follow said team on Twitter, and I will buy a jersey of said team. 

Now my options are limited. As far as I can tell, only Arsenal, Aston Villa, Liverpool and Manchester City follow their supporter’s on Twitter.

Anyway, I just want an incredibly dumb reason that can top the typical nonsensical American Premier League Team fan’s reason for support like this one:  ”When I was a kid, my Uncle when to London and bought me a Man United jersey.” Yes, because Manchester is in London lol.

Nevertheless, this blog will continue to focus strictly on Fantasy Premier League. You won’t be seeing those annoying Twitter posts about said team messing up every second when the team is playing.

Notes

Unfantasy’s Guide To Not Being Mediocre: Part 5

PUNDIT TIP NUMBER FIVE: MAKE SURE YOUR MIDFIELDER’S/FORWARD’S HOME FIXTURES VARY!

Fixture rotation is commonplace in FPL, particularly in the defense and goalie positions. However, I do not think that FPL players pay enough attention to home/away fixtures in their midfield or forward positions.

To sum up, you could have a situation in which most, or even all, of your midfielder’s/forward’s play at home one week and then away the next. This is a quick way to mediocrity. 

The easiest way to be good at FPL is to consistently post above-average results each Gameweek. You do not need to be spectacular each week to succeed! Before FPL updated, I looked back at my Gameweek rank’s. I realized that any week I had a Gameweek rank of 400,000 or better I ended up improving my overall rank. image

Now this screenshot only shows Gameweek’s 1 though 31 but the point is still relevant. Simply put, You do not need to have all of your players play at home in Gameweek 1. Have a mix of player’s playing home and away each Gameweek in your midfield/forward positions. Being consistently above average each Gameweek is more important to Overall FPL success. 

Notes

Unfantasy’s Guide To Not Being Mediocre: Part 4

PUNDIT TIP NUMBER FOUR: FOLLOW THE RIGHT BLOGS/WEBSITES! 

The first year I played FPL, I searched for  ”fantasy premier league blogs” on Google, and found one: premierleaguefantasy.blogspot.com

It was a great blog…until the guy that managed it stopped updating it last season. The next year I decided to expand my horizon and search for “fantasy premier league hints” on Google, and I found this great site: fantasypremierleaguehints.blogspot.com

It is a great website, with a variety of different contributors, and run by a guy named The Chief who once finished 73rd overall. To summarize the website, The Chief will post his team each gameweek while his contributors gave tips on potential targets. 

For a while I strictly used these sites, but I eventually started to look at fantasyfooballscout.co.uk which is perhaps the premier destination for FPL players. I also started to go to TotalFPL.com for price change information. 

Eventually, I even ended up making my own twitter account, writing for fplmaestro.com until the site shut down, and switching from blogging about fantasy american football to FPL. Anyway, I suggest using the above active websites if you are serious about not being mediocre. There are of course many more sites out there to choose from but these are my personal favorites.

Notes

Unfantasy’s Guide To Not Being Mediocre: Part 3

PUNDIT TIP NUMBER THREE: DON’T OBSESS OVER YOUR FPL TEAM RIGHT NOW!

But FPL just opened? Yes, I know. However, there is no point in constantly changing your team with a month to go until the season starts. 

Everyone is a critiic. By constantly looking at your team this early, you will begin to doubt every player. Besides, it’s too early to judge who has the best FPL team as preseason has only just begun.

Go online on any FPL website or Twitter. People are begging to have their teams critiqued by “experts”. Any real expert would tell someone not to worry so soon. My advice is to ask for judgment in the week leading up to the start of the Premier League season.

As it stands right now, many potential star prospects such as Remy Cabella and Diego Costa are not even in the game! And Crystal Palace beating an amateur side 13-1 is not telling anyone anything. Wait until more meaningful preseason games have been played before making obsessing over who to pick. By then, you might actually know who the real manager’s will pick.

Notes

Unfantasy’s Guide To Not Being Mediocre: Part 2

PUNDIT TIP NUMBER TWO: DON’T TRUST FPL’S INJURY REPORTS!

Fantasy Premier League itself “keeps track” of injuries with its highly inaccurate, color-coded system of ridiculous injury percentages. I hate this system so I don’t use it. Why? Because telling me that Wayne Rooney has “75% chance of playing” is not really answering the question of whether or not he will play. 

Instead, I follow Ben Dinnery (@BenDinnery) on Twitter and keep track of injury return dates at PhysioRoom.com. Ben seemingly always knows who will play and who will not. He’s also a Freelance Injury Data Analyst for PhysioRoom.com, which helps explain why their injury return dates are so accurate. 

With only three bench spots in FPL, plus one for goalie, it is highly important to field a healthy squad of players. Putting your trust in FPL’s injury system could lead to a situation in which you can’t even field a full team, which is a quick way to having a mediocre season. 

Notes

Unfantasy’s FPL Tip’s: A Guide To Not Being Mediocre

I have decided to write a Fantasy Premier League (FPL) guide to not being average. Why? Because I am an expert on mediocrity, but still great at FPL. 

Here’s my FPL CV: I finished in the top 1% last year and made it to Gameweek 29 in the official FPL Cup. I also wrote the Differential article’s for FPLMaestro.com for the latter third of last season. My first pundit tip is below: 

PUNDIT TIP NUMBER ONE: UNDERSTAND THAT FPL IS NOT FAIR

Fantasy Premier League is not fair?! What? It’s definitely more fair than a draft-based league like Fantasy American Football!

Yes that is true. But here is how FPL is unfair: Increases in player prices matter less in comparison to decreases in player prices.

Here is an example: You bought Player A at a price of 7.0, and he has since increased in price to 7.4. If you sell him, his selling price will be 7.2. Meanwhile, you have Player B, who you also bought at a price of 7.0. His price has since decreased to 6.6. If you sell him, his selling price will be 6.6. As you can see, FPL punishes you more for price losses in comparison to the reward for price gains. 

The only tip I have to counteract this issue is to track player prices. Now, FPL itself claims that you won’t know when prices will change, but a website named TotalFPL.com does know. Use their site to track player prices and you will have a better chance of finishing above average. Stay tuned for more tips later in the week. 

1 Notes

Twitter User’s Are Worse Than Suarez

Normally I have a funny meme and a funny article to article go along with it. But today I don’t.

Why is that you ask? Here’s why: Most People on Twitter are Stupid. Sure it has been said a thousand times. Heck it has been said millions of times. But it has not yet resonated for some of you.

Most People on Twitter, let’s refer to these people as the Average Twitter User’s (ATU’s). ATU’s do whatever it takes to criticize public figures on Twitter. Why? Because ATU’s are Perfect!…or so they think. 

ATU’s believe that actions speak louder than words. That’s why they are on Twitter. You know, because saying is different that doing. But it is not. 

If you think Suarez should be dead or banned from football for life, you are an ATU. Why? Because there are people far worse than Suarez playing football/soccer these days. And it is not just people playing soccer, it is people running soccer clubs. Roman Abramovich is much more evil. So is Manchester’s City’s owner with his civil rights abuses. 

Should Suarez be banned? Of course but only temporarily. But not for life and nor should he be killed. ATU’s need to take a long look at themselves if they had wished Chiellini beat the shit out of Suarez. If you wish player’s played soccer appropriately, then why would you wish for a player to be beat up? Unless you are an ATU. 

Just think about what you write. Because what you say on Twitter is an action. And stop being biased and racist. Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction at all. 

Notes

Unfantasy Player of the Week was kept from Gameweek’s 25 through 37 (I forgot to look to see who won in Gameweek 38). In that time, no man won the award more than once…except West Ham Captain Kevin Nolan. Nolan won the award three times for his mediocre performances. 
Nolan scored five goals in the Premier League during the month of February in just four games. This caused a bandwagon which made his FPL ownership rise above the 10% threshold to be eligible for Unfantasy POTW. 
Most of the owners who jumped on Nolan were so distraught by his failures that they simply gave up on their FPL season which led to a large amount of so-called “deadships” owning Nolan. Thus, Nolan continued to post mediocre stat lines while still being owned by more than 10% of FPL owners. If it had not been for a few late substitutions by Sam Allardyce, he would have won the weekly award a few more times. 
Nevertheless, Nolan wins the final (presumably?) award to be handed out this postseason: Unfantasy Player of the Year. Now get back to your February form!

Unfantasy Player of the Week was kept from Gameweek’s 25 through 37 (I forgot to look to see who won in Gameweek 38). In that time, no man won the award more than once…except West Ham Captain Kevin Nolan. Nolan won the award three times for his mediocre performances. 

Nolan scored five goals in the Premier League during the month of February in just four games. This caused a bandwagon which made his FPL ownership rise above the 10% threshold to be eligible for Unfantasy POTW. 

Most of the owners who jumped on Nolan were so distraught by his failures that they simply gave up on their FPL season which led to a large amount of so-called “deadships” owning Nolan. Thus, Nolan continued to post mediocre stat lines while still being owned by more than 10% of FPL owners. If it had not been for a few late substitutions by Sam Allardyce, he would have won the weekly award a few more times. 

Nevertheless, Nolan wins the final (presumably?) award to be handed out this postseason: Unfantasy Player of the Year. Now get back to your February form!

Notes

I mainly focus on mediocre players to write about in this blog, hence the name Unfantasy. But since it is the end of the year I have decided to write a piece on my ideal dream team. This article will detail out the 11 players I would have on my team if I could. Plus, I’ll even select my ideal seven substitutes. This article is not just going to be the best fantasy premier league players. It is my ideal eleven players plus seven backups that I would pick if I was to embark on winning the Premier League. Heck I’ll even pick a coach (not Moyes), owner, sponsor, club name and colors for my dream team. Now lets begin:



Formation: 4-1-2-1-2



Goalie: Vito Mannone, Sunderland

In the end it came down to two goalies: Mannone or Cech. I chose Mannone due to his league-leading 78.8% save percentage and very impressive play to end the season. Cech played well on a great team while Mannone carried Sunderland. Sunderland even beat Chelsea at the Bridge! Take that Mourinho!

Left-Back: Leighton Baines, Everton

It would be ridiculous not to put the England National in this lineup. A solid defender with excellent attacking prowess. He can score from free kicks at will as was shown against West Ham early in the season. 

Center Back: John Terry, Chelsea

Even late in his career he remains a top Premier League defender. Can still score the occasional goal as well.

Center Back: Steven Caulker, Cardiff

Pumped in five goals for a poor Cardiff side and showed Tottenham that the club was wrong to let him leave. Conventional FPL wisdom would have Martin Skrtel above has he scored more goals but the man also scored for against his own side a bit much for my liking.

Right Back: Pablo Zabaleta, Manchester City

What? No Seamus Coleman! I have picked Zabaleta due to his heart. Played sensational on defense for the league champions while possessing excellent ability to attack.

Defensive Midfielder: Yaya Toure, Manchester City

Who else would I pick? The man simply tore it up. His birthday is May 13th and never forget it. 

Winger: Eden Hazard, Chelsea
An excellent player who, like Yaya, was disrespected by his club.

Winger: Christian Eriksen, Tottenham

A man who ruined many an FPL manager’s season. Nevertheless in his limited time he proved to be a creative mastermind when he was not overlooked by whoever Tottenham’s incompetent manager.

Attacking Midfielder: Adam Lallana, Southampton

An excellent playmaker who was often overlooked by Hodgson of England. Would be fitting yet highly unlikely if he could lead the country to glory at the World Cup.

Forward: Daniel Sturridge, Liverpool

The man I call ball hog for obvious reasons but he scoring rate shows his ability nonetheless. And who can’t love his goal celebration! 

Forward: Luis Suarez (C), Liverpool

Can’t have just one member of SAS. Sturridge will be paired with Suarez up top. Suarez, or as some drunk Liverpool fan called ‘Swarley’ at a bar multiple times, will lead Team Unfantasy to glory. Given his heart, which was particularly evident by how much the tie at Crystal Palace meant, Suarez will be the Team Captain. He’s also a pretty good footballer too.

Substitutes: Cech, Azpilicueta, Matic, Nasri, Koscielny, Ozil, Dzeko

Coach: Tony Pulis

Owner: Unfantasy.com

Kit Sponsor: Unfantasy.com

Team Name: Metro Boys FC

Colors: Red and Black
Cups: Not important

I mainly focus on mediocre players to write about in this blog, hence the name Unfantasy. But since it is the end of the year I have decided to write a piece on my ideal dream team. This article will detail out the 11 players I would have on my team if I could. Plus, I’ll even select my ideal seven substitutes. This article is not just going to be the best fantasy premier league players. It is my ideal eleven players plus seven backups that I would pick if I was to embark on winning the Premier League. Heck I’ll even pick a coach (not Moyes), owner, sponsor, club name and colors for my dream team. Now lets begin:

Formation: 4-1-2-1-2

Goalie: Vito Mannone, Sunderland

In the end it came down to two goalies: Mannone or Cech. I chose Mannone due to his league-leading 78.8% save percentage and very impressive play to end the season. Cech played well on a great team while Mannone carried Sunderland. Sunderland even beat Chelsea at the Bridge! Take that Mourinho!

Left-Back: Leighton Baines, Everton

It would be ridiculous not to put the England National in this lineup. A solid defender with excellent attacking prowess. He can score from free kicks at will as was shown against West Ham early in the season.

Center Back: John Terry, Chelsea

Even late in his career he remains a top Premier League defender. Can still score the occasional goal as well.

Center Back: Steven Caulker, Cardiff

Pumped in five goals for a poor Cardiff side and showed Tottenham that the club was wrong to let him leave. Conventional FPL wisdom would have Martin Skrtel above has he scored more goals but the man also scored for against his own side a bit much for my liking.

Right Back: Pablo Zabaleta, Manchester City

What? No Seamus Coleman! I have picked Zabaleta due to his heart. Played sensational on defense for the league champions while possessing excellent ability to attack.

Defensive Midfielder: Yaya Toure, Manchester City

Who else would I pick? The man simply tore it up. His birthday is May 13th and never forget it.

Winger: Eden Hazard, Chelsea

An excellent player who, like Yaya, was disrespected by his club.

Winger: Christian Eriksen, Tottenham

A man who ruined many an FPL manager’s season. Nevertheless in his limited time he proved to be a creative mastermind when he was not overlooked by whoever Tottenham’s incompetent manager.

Attacking Midfielder: Adam Lallana, Southampton

An excellent playmaker who was often overlooked by Hodgson of England. Would be fitting yet highly unlikely if he could lead the country to glory at the World Cup.

Forward: Daniel Sturridge, Liverpool

The man I call ball hog for obvious reasons but he scoring rate shows his ability nonetheless. And who can’t love his goal celebration!

Forward: Luis Suarez (C), Liverpool

Can’t have just one member of SAS. Sturridge will be paired with Suarez up top. Suarez, or as some drunk Liverpool fan called ‘Swarley’ at a bar multiple times, will lead Team Unfantasy to glory. Given his heart, which was particularly evident by how much the tie at Crystal Palace meant, Suarez will be the Team Captain. He’s also a pretty good footballer too.

Substitutes: Cech, Azpilicueta, Matic, Nasri, Koscielny, Ozil, Dzeko

Coach: Tony Pulis

Owner: Unfantasy.com

Kit Sponsor: Unfantasy.com

Team Name: Metro Boys FC

Colors: Red and Black


Cups: Not important

Notes

This year’s Premier League season started out with lots of hope for so many teams. Sir Alex Ferguson thought that “the chose one” would lead Manchester United to glory, Andre Villas-Boas thought he wouldn’t get fired again, and of course Vincent Tan thought he wasn’t crazy. Of course, each found out that they were wrong in their ways, except Vincent Tan of course. Nevertheless, this article is dedicated to the newcomers everyone thought would be great but weren’t. I present the first in a series of Unfantasy Season-Ending Awards: Unfantasy Newcomer Team of the Season.

Goalie: Maarten Stekelenburg, Fulham, Price: £4.76m

Stekelenburg joined Fulham from Roma in the summer. However, he couldn’t nail down the starting job for most of the season as Fulham were eventually dropped to the Championship.

Defender: Sasha Reither, Fulham, Price: £1.27m

Played second-most minutes on the team behind Steve Sidwell and notched two assists but failed to lead the team out of relegation.

Defender: Kolo Toure, Liverpool, Price: Free

Started 15 games for Liverpool which was 15 too many. His transfer, from Manchester City no less, is arguably the reason Liverpool lost the title. Scored a comical own-goal against Fulham and made countless mistakes. Simply the worst of players and one would have to wonder if the team would have been better played with ten men than with him at times. 

Defender: Diego Lugano, West Brom, Price: Free

Captain of Uruguay but could not even keep a place in West Brom’s starting lineup.

Midfielder: Gary Medel, Cardiff, Price: £9.5m

A defensive midfielder with a track record of notching in attacking returns, including 6 goals and 3 assists in his last season at Sevilla, only notched a single assist in 34 Premier League games for Cardiff. Possessed a better red-card threat than attacking-threat for the squad.

Midfielder: Adel Taarabt, Fulham, Price: Loan

The playmaker from QPR had his moments in the previous season but failed to do much of anything on his  spell before his loan was cut short as he was sent to Italy. Once again, his bad boy image got the better of him.

Midfielder: Victor Moses, Liverpool, Price: Loan
He set an ambitious goal of 20 goals in all competitions this season but failed to deliver with only 4. Had an opportunity to lift Liverpool to a late win versus Crystal Palace but missed. His career so far could be described as the Bendtner-esque.

Midfielder: Erik Lamela, Tottenham, Price: £30m

Much was expected out Lamela but he fell out of favor early in an injury-plagued season as he notched only one assist in 327 minutes of play. 

Forward: Jozy Altidore, Sunderland, Price: £6.5m 

A start for his national team, Altidore failed to deliver for Sunderland during his second attempt at Premier League success scoring just one goal in league play. Some have described him as having the first touch of a rapist and the finishing ability of a blind man. Simply disastrous as the team was barely able to stave off relegation.

Forward: Ricky van Wolfswinkel, Norwich, Price: £8.5m 

Scored in his first game of the season but not once in any competition after. Simply disastrous as the team was relegated.

Forward: Roberto Soldado, Tottenham, Price: £26m

Another big money move that failed to pan out for Tottenham. Eventually dropped in favor of Harry Kane as he scored only 6 goals in league play for Tottenham after having scored 24 the previous term for Valencia.

Manager: David Moyes, Manchester United

Somehow “led” Manchester United to the quarterfinals of the Champions league despite his ineptitude. Moyes proved more than capable of misusing the talent at his disposable with poor tactics. He brought in Juan Mata, a true number 10 playmaker, only to play him on the wing. Just terrible.

Owner: Vincent Tan, Cardiff City
He was the worst owner in sports until Donald Sterling proved otherwise. Tan fired an excellent manager in Malky Mackay, hired a 23 year-old friend of his son as Head of Recruitment for the club despite having no experience (the guy later quit), and requested that the club look to sign players with the number “8” in their birthdates. He should probably sell the club given that the number “8” is not in his birthdate.

This year’s Premier League season started out with lots of hope for so many teams. Sir Alex Ferguson thought that “the chose one” would lead Manchester United to glory, Andre Villas-Boas thought he wouldn’t get fired again, and of course Vincent Tan thought he wasn’t crazy. Of course, each found out that they were wrong in their ways, except Vincent Tan of course. Nevertheless, this article is dedicated to the newcomers everyone thought would be great but weren’t. I present the first in a series of Unfantasy Season-Ending Awards: Unfantasy Newcomer Team of the Season.

Goalie: Maarten Stekelenburg, Fulham, Price: £4.76m

Stekelenburg joined Fulham from Roma in the summer. However, he couldn’t nail down the starting job for most of the season as Fulham were eventually dropped to the Championship.

Defender: Sasha Reither, Fulham, Price: £1.27m

Played second-most minutes on the team behind Steve Sidwell and notched two assists but failed to lead the team out of relegation.

Defender: Kolo Toure, Liverpool, Price: Free

Started 15 games for Liverpool which was 15 too many. His transfer, from Manchester City no less, is arguably the reason Liverpool lost the title. Scored a comical own-goal against Fulham and made countless mistakes. Simply the worst of players and one would have to wonder if the team would have been better played with ten men than with him at times.

Defender: Diego Lugano, West Brom, Price: Free

Captain of Uruguay but could not even keep a place in West Brom’s starting lineup.

Midfielder: Gary Medel, Cardiff, Price: £9.5m

A defensive midfielder with a track record of notching in attacking returns, including 6 goals and 3 assists in his last season at Sevilla, only notched a single assist in 34 Premier League games for Cardiff. Possessed a better red-card threat than attacking-threat for the squad.

Midfielder: Adel Taarabt, Fulham, Price: Loan

The playmaker from QPR had his moments in the previous season but failed to do much of anything on his  spell before his loan was cut short as he was sent to Italy. Once again, his bad boy image got the better of him.

Midfielder: Victor Moses, Liverpool, Price: Loan

He set an ambitious goal of 20 goals in all competitions this season but failed to deliver with only 4. Had an opportunity to lift Liverpool to a late win versus Crystal Palace but missed. His career so far could be described as the Bendtner-esque.

Midfielder: Erik Lamela, Tottenham, Price: £30m

Much was expected out Lamela but he fell out of favor early in an injury-plagued season as he notched only one assist in 327 minutes of play.

Forward: Jozy Altidore, Sunderland, Price: £6.5m

A start for his national team, Altidore failed to deliver for Sunderland during his second attempt at Premier League success scoring just one goal in league play. Some have described him as having the first touch of a rapist and the finishing ability of a blind man. Simply disastrous as the team was barely able to stave off relegation.

Forward: Ricky van Wolfswinkel, Norwich, Price: £8.5m

Scored in his first game of the season but not once in any competition after. Simply disastrous as the team was relegated.

Forward: Roberto Soldado, Tottenham, Price: £26m

Another big money move that failed to pan out for Tottenham. Eventually dropped in favor of Harry Kane as he scored only 6 goals in league play for Tottenham after having scored 24 the previous term for Valencia.

Manager: David Moyes, Manchester United

Somehow “led” Manchester United to the quarterfinals of the Champions league despite his ineptitude. Moyes proved more than capable of misusing the talent at his disposable with poor tactics. He brought in Juan Mata, a true number 10 playmaker, only to play him on the wing. Just terrible.

Owner: Vincent Tan, Cardiff City


He was the worst owner in sports until Donald Sterling proved otherwise. Tan fired an excellent manager in Malky Mackay, hired a 23 year-old friend of his son as Head of Recruitment for the club despite having no experience (the guy later quit), and requested that the club look to sign players with the number “8” in their birthdates. He should probably sell the club given that the number “8” is not in his birthdate.